Yeah it's been a while.
Sorry I've been too busy trying not to drown in my depression.
Wanna know something weird. I often compare my depression to a 'black wave of sadness', and my struggles as 'drowning'...in real life, I can't swim. Nope. I cannot swim. My mother took my to the YMCA as a youngster to learn, but I just got so anxious at the very sight of water that I never actually retained any of the lessons.
Kind of like with me and driving.
I just kind of fail. I get anxious and I fail to do anything right.
Life is (still) a bit sucky right now.
Broke. Still lonely. Not single though, still have the boyfriend. He's not handling my depression very well. It makes him sad then he gets mad at me. Sorry for having emotions.
Next month will be our 1 year anniversary. Ask him. He didn't think we would last 365 days. He thought we would break up over our prominent cultural and religious differences MONTHS AGO. But we didn't. Sometimes he will just look at me and say 'I'm in love with you." and everything gets a little brighter in my pit of sadness and despair.
Oh yeah, and I'm quitting smoking...so I'm an anxious pile of knots and I just want to slap everyone. It's for the best though.
