I wanted to be an actress when I was younger, the idea of making a career out of being someone other than yourself was appealing to me, someone who never liked themselves all that much in the first place.
I lived life believing that one day, I would be someone important. Living in a dream world, doing things that made me happy.
Instead I barely made it through High School due to this crippling depression. Can't make it out of college (again in part to the sadzies) and now I'm working this shit job (which I've been at for 2 years and have yet to get a promotion despite numerous promises from my boss), drowning in credit card debt and medical bills, can't pass the damn driving test despite 6+ attempts, no friends, a boyfriend who doesn't even want to be with me and I find myself online looking for another job to pay off this ridiculous hospital bill that my crap insurance won't cover because apparently I didn't get Pre-approved for it? (I wan fucking dying, when the fuck should I have asked for approval?)
I'm still living with my parents, who are fucking sick of me and remind me at every turn that they want me gone.
Experiencing the worst of the worst in mental health care because I can't find a new doctor to take me on.
My credit is fucked for some reason.
I have all these problems. I'm sick of dealing with. I wish I could just die in my sleep, because I lack the bravery and decisiveness to actually kill myself.
My reasons for living are very limited.
I don't know what to do. The burn of existing with all these resonsibilites and pressures that a healthy person would have trouble with, completely swallows me whole. I don't know what to do.
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