Fate is a Bitch

Well, I took my driving skills test today.

I told no one. Not even the boyfriend. Only my mother knew.

Failing the test time and time again has a way of kicking the positivity out of you.

I failed again.

Let me get this out of the way: I'm not a bad driver. I can drive, I drive every fucking day of my life. Bu t the state I live in has very tricky rules and regulations that I am stuck with. The driving test is very difficult. Basically you have to preform two parking skills to start off with, under very strict regulations and under 3 minutes. That's my problem.

I can't park in under 3 minutes the way the want me to. I parallel parked twice. I did it textbook. But apparently I wasn't close enough to the curb, and you have to start the skill over again from scratch if the instructor says you didn't do it right the first time. If you fail to complete the skill in under 3 minutes you automatically fail.

I have automatically failed the test six times now. SIX FUCKING TIMES.

The first time I hit the cone, I was nervous..

The second time I ran out of time parking.

As I did for the third and forth.

The fifth time I committed a 'rolling stop' which basically means I didn't stop at the fucking stop sign for 5 seconds or longer. FIVE SECONDS. They fucking time you.

I've been so disappointed time and time again.

All I want to do is get in the car and drive.

I hate having to mold my schedule around everyone elses. I hate being late for work because my Dad is the one thats driving me. I hate that, if I want a fucking burger from the burger place down the street, I can't go get one. I hate having to wait until someone else is ready to go before I can go. I hate that I am constantly depending on everyone else, and that I can't depend on myself. I hate that I'm even writing this hate-filled rant because I can't pass a test that I have taken five times before.

What the fuck is wrong with me? Why can't I pass this test? Why is it that I, a person who is extra cautious and careful when getting behind the wheel, who stops at every stop sign (I'm taking a COMPLETE stop), honors every crosswalk, signals well in advance when I plan on turning anywhere can't fucking get a license to drive but the crazy cat lady down the street who almost ran my dog over can.

I am actually more likely to get hit by a car, by someone who HAS their license, than I am to actually get my license. I'm sure someone with a math brain can prove that statement statistically.

I. Am. FUCKED.